It’s been over a year since D-Day…Diagnosis Day. We’ve come a LONG way since February 1st, 2021.
Shortly after D-Day, we started visiting the clinic monthly, like most CF patient have to do, and we started treatment to give the best life possible to Brooks. Little did we know all of the things we would learn…not just about CF or being first time parents, but about ourselves and each other. The resiliency we would find deep down in ourselves and in our tiny baby. The challenges that would make us second guess everything, “Is this “new baby normal” or is this CF related?!” The love and support we would feel, and continue to feel, day in and day out for our precious boy.
But still…there are times when I am stopped in my tracks, the breath knocked out of me, and those two little words hit me like a ton of bricks, “but, why?”
When Bryson and I got married, we received a sign with the bible verse Joshua 1:9 on it.
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
This wonderful family, whom we love dearly, told us this was their family bible verse and one of the mom’s favorites. I thought it was sweet and sentimental. We hung the sign over our bed and many times I would look and read it and feel peace. Looking back, I think it was a sign that we received this gift, no pun intended, years before we had Brooks and his diagnosis. Unknowingly, this verse even ended up in his nursery on a sign that I thought was cute and in the corner, after purchasing it, I found the verse.
I’m a, “It’s a sign!” type of person. So when I realized this was all around us, covering us constantly, I took it as a sign. *Cue Ace of Base “I saw the sign, and it opened up my eyes, I saw the sign!”*
Anytime those two worrisome words try to enter my mind I automatically go to this verse. BUT, WHY?! I’ll tell you WHY….my theory behind our WHY…the Lord sees fit that our little boy is going to do something big. Much bigger than him or us. It may not be for us, it might be for someone else. It may not be for someone else, it might be for us. We don’t know yet, but to watch this precious life unfold and the greatness that is to come is breathtaking to even think of, especially when overcoming and shutting down the, “but, why?” factor of it all, and the Lord is right there with us every single step of the way. Guiding us and His plan unfolding.
Don’t get me wrong, we have our days. We deal with them and we move on because the Lord doesn’t make mistakes. God is good all the time.
We’ve been lucky enough to get to experience the wonderfulness of modern medicine and all it has to offer to the world of cystic fibrosis at this time. Advancements are being made every single day toward CF standing for “Cure Found.” We’ve also been lucky enough to only have had one hospital admission in his first year. We know this might not ever happen again, we might face many a year. But we also know we might face years without ever stepping foot inside a hospital for admission. We’ve learned in our journey of, “but, why?” to roll with the punches as best as we can. (Also another lesson I think my Type-A personality needed to learn!) We might ask why many times in a year, month, or even day when it pertains to this diagnosis and our boy, but we know, without a shadow of a doubt, his WHY is worth it all.
God is good… ALL. THE. TIME.
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